When I was little I used to run to your room in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep without you. You made me clothes for my dolls and even made us matching pillow cases. You would wake me up for school in the morning and on Saturdays make me fried potatoes to eat while I watched cartoons. You used to tell me to brush my hair 100 times to make it pretty and you would show me pictures of the grandfather I never knew. You’d give me money when you won bingo and you used to go on walks every day. Somewhere down the road I became a brat and I still hate myself for it. Doing things for you became the biggest chore and I never chose to spend time with you. I’m still so so so sorry and I hope you know how much I regret it. Now that I’ve grown up I’ve realized what a strong woman you were and I am going to strive to be nothing less than that. I love you and I’ll see you one day, Lola. I hope you and lolo are having the best time up there and I hope you’re watching over me.
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➜
“I always dreamed of someone like you coming into my life and caring for me like you do. You bring me hope, something I have yearned for my entire life. I find peace with the world, with all its cruelty and apathy, when I’m with you.”
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➜
there’s an old poem by Neruda that i’ve always been captivated by, and one of the lines in it has stuck with me ever since the first time i read it. it says “love is so short, forgetting is so long.” it’s a line i’ve related to in my saddest moments, when i needed to know someone else had felt that exact same way. and when we’re trying to move on, the moments we always go back to aren’t the mundane ones. they are the moments you saw sparks that weren’t really there, felt stars aligning without having any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. these are moments of newfound hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases, the unthinkable letdown. and in my mind, every one of these memories looks the same to me. i see all of these moments in bright, burning, red.
my experiences in love have taught me difficult lessons, especially my experiences with crazy love. the red relationships. the ones that went from zero to a hundred miles per hour and then hit a wall and exploded. and it was awful. and ridiculous. and desperate. and thrilling. and when the dust settled, it was something i’d never take back. because there is something to be said for being young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking. and there’s something to be learned from waiting all day for a train that’s never coming. and there’s something to be proud of about moving on and realizing that real love shines golden like starlight and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust…
taylor swift -
Taylor Swift
Red
Hey you called me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I’m a crumbled up piece of paper lying here
Cause I remember it all all all too well~via patrickstunp➜ -
State of Grace:
Red:
\Treacherous:
I Knew You Were Trouble:
All Too Well:
22:
I Almost Do:
We are never ever getting back together:
Stay Stay Stay:
The Last Time:
Holy Ground:
Sad Beautiful Tragic:
The Lucky One:
Everything Has Changed:
Starlight:
Begin Again:
via keepitasamemory➜
